that’s the one word that continuously inhabits my mind when around a certain friend. a friend i’ve had since double dutch contests and pressed out ponytails with colorful ball barrettes. one whom i Love like a sister. they type of friend you just know will be in your wedding and present for any significant life happening, as she always has.

toxic, though.

i pride myself on being a positive, happy person. it doesn’t take long to make me extremely mad (i’m working on it… lol) but it takes half as long until i’m completely over it, and ready to go about life. i can’t live with distress.

that’s why it’s hard for me to grasp the idea of being a perpetually angry, unhappy person. someone who can find a reason to be disgruntled with something or someone

my coworker gets on their last damn nerves. why is this coffee this hot? you picked a stupid day to do this event. this child needs to shut the hayle up next door or it’s going to be a problem. my mama is calling too much, what does she want? i don’t even know why she’s dating that fool with his tall ass. my man is about to get cursed out, just wait ’til i see that negro. and don’t even get me started on my sister…

it’s got to be exhausting. it just has to be.

it’s like no matter the sunshine, they will find the one cloud that might erupt with rain in three days and complain about it ruining their future plans. i don’t quite understand why some people love misery, but i do know that misery loves company, and i do know it’s challenging to be the unwilling but designated company of someone’s misery time and again.

what to do about those kind of people in your life? i’m on a mission to find them a reason to smile.


  1. I’ve recently had to let one go. I just couldn’t handle it. She had been that way for years and years and years. And it just seemingly never got better. I felt guilty about the prospect of doing it for years, we had many arguments/disagreements about the status of our friendship over time. But finally, the guilt subsided and realized that her views on life just didn’t align with mine.

  2. For me, I just learned to rephrase my questions. Instead of “hey, how are ya?” I changed it to “hey, what’s good?” It kind of helps. What’s really a bugger is if you ask what’s good and they say nothing. At least you feel prepared for the onslaught of negativity. I wouldn’t tell you to end the friendship though, lifelong friendships are rare (I’m actually jealous) but maybe an unannounced break would be alright (you’ve just been so busy) and the next time she sees you she’ll be too happy about it to bring up anything negative, that is, unless she’s the type to cuss you out for losing touch. lol

  3. Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m the one needing to take a break or needing to be taking a break from. It confuses me, my preferences and my friendship’s preferences. I feel what you saying. I stopped talking to a lot of my friends who I thought was negative or bringing me down in some kind of way. Your words are inspirational.

  4. while reading your article, I’ve come to realize I was becoming the kind of person you are talking about.It was honestly eye-opening,i mean i am not one of those crabby for no reason people, i have just been through a really legitimatly bad experience.But i must say that it definitly does not warrant me being a bad friend,so thank you so very much for your help! I will change.(sorry for any language mistakes you might notice seeing as English is not my mother tongue :/)

Say it loud, say it proud... just not in all caps.

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