so i've noticed

no mom, you can’t text me.

my mother has always had a youthful ‘air’ about her. she’s vibrant and fun and laughs a lot and pretty much cracks me up on a daily basis. partly because she’s well, awesome, and partly because she is the parent of a 22yo, a 23yo, and a 20last-year-old (can you believe i’m in the last year of my twenties? i can’t either. wow) who keep her quite current and youngish. lol

last year, i helped my mom create a facebook page because my old childhood friend told me his mom wanted to add her (lawd). she’s now very FB savvy and i actually look forward to reading her morning affirmation statuses that all her girlfriends and bowling buddies ‘like’ and add their “amen!” to. it’s cute.

texting though. goodness. with the christmas gift of a shiny new smartphone from her chirren (we had to, i think Cain killed Able right before saying “can you hear me now? am i my brother’s keeper?” to God on an identical one), my mom has acclimated greatly to the world of 160 characters or less. recently an exchange between my mother and i went something like this:

mommy: hey can you pick up (insert random unnecessary item) on your way out here today?

me: sure.

mommy: k. thankieees!

enter my face all chopped and screwed at seeing “k” and “thankieees” attached to the contact named “Mommy” in my phone. my insides wept. i immediately recognized where she picked up this horrid text language, and promptly texted both my mom and my little sister and informed them that they were no longer to communicate via text for any reason, as my mother’s text etiquette had devolved into that of my 22yo college-junior sister’s. lol.

after i cleared up that little mishap, everything was fine and my mother had returned to her ten dollar word, four page long texts. you know, the kind that say (1/3) when you’re receiving them and you have to rearrange them sequentially in your head and then read, because they never come in the right order. then it happened. i sent her a pic of my newly (fabulously) redecorated room and her text response was “that’s soooo dope!”

oh my.

as the main employer of the word “dope” and particularly the phrase “that’s soooo dope!” in my mother’s SMS world, i could only blame myself. i had to take it back to prohibition and deemed all text communication with me illegal. i like hearing her voice better anyway. lol.

after thinking about it though, i’ve decided to ban her from texting her children altogether, before my brother has her saying “yooooo. my bad, just got to the crib” and reciting random Lupe Fiasco lyrics.

because then, i’d die. lol

8 thoughts on “no mom, you can’t text me.”

  1. Erm let me just say its not U in the same situation,i am now playing hide N seek with my MUM coz she needs me to create a new Facebook page for her,she tells me all her friends are there,to make things worse..i sometimes receive txts from her N go like HUH???…MuM`s around the world are

  2. i don’t think my mom could send a text if you paid her and for that i’m grateful. i was shocked when my sister sent me a text and she’s only 37 but she has an old soul.

  3. Oooh, you upped and moved on me. I was wondering why I wasn’t seeing any posts from you via the reader. I’m glad to have found you again.

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