the randomness

Dear Blackberry… because I can’t call you.

i write this letter, a heartbroken woman.

you see, i’ve come to a realization. a rather solemn and depressing one i’m finding, that it’s not me Black, it’s you. when we started this unexpected relationship, we were perfect. you were so much of what i wanted: smart, worldly, good looking, nice package, and we got along famously, you and i. i knew exactly what buttons to push and which not, to get what i wanted. you always made sure i was always happy. and i appreciated you in ways no one before you has ever seen, Black. i took care of you. like new Love usually is, we were inseparable. like a doting wife i always made sure you had enough energy, even bought you fresh gear a time or two, cleaned after you, everything.

and as i look at your blank stare i now realize that it was all for naught. you didn’t appreciate me the way you were supposed to. i told you all my secrets, gave page after page to your memory for you to hold dear. you knew my family, and all the secrets my friends made me promise to never share. even sent sexy pics sometimes just to make you smile, since you seem to like Curves.

and now that i want them back, you refuse. glaring at me with that blank expression, heartless and mute.

fine.

i don’t know what happened with us, but it’s clear the Love once so strong, has evaporated. you’ve become¬†temperamental, moody. only answering when you want, not responding to text messages, shutting down, going cold, shutting me out when you know how important communication is to me.

…and i won’t mention the problem you’ve had lasting lately, if you get my drift. we used to go all day– intense, hours long sessions. you never needed a break. now, i can barely keep you going for thirty minutes before you’re hitting E. maybe i just don’t do it for you anymore, Black.

so my dear BB, wait–can i still call you BB? we can be friends after this right? there is something i must tell you. …there is someone else. and before you get all in your feelings, no, i’ve not even touched him. we’ve not gone out, and we’re not official … yet. i call him Andi. my friends have been trying to introduce us for a while, but i’ve always refused, stuck by your side, no matter how lame they thought you were, or how much they praised Andi, claimed he would do more for me than you ever could. i didn’t want to believe them, but now that you’ve quit on me, on us, left me hanging so heartlessly; i must face my heartbreak, and move on.

and no worries, i’ll cite¬†irreconcilable¬†differences, so they won’t know our business.

Love,

Me.

15 thoughts on “Dear Blackberry… because I can’t call you.

  1. Before you get too serious with Andi… be sure to check out my girl Siri. I don’t know if you’re down to play for the other team, but if you are, she will absolutely turn you out!

  2. Excellent. I’m having an open relationship with Berry and someone we’ll just call i. It’s tempestuous and clandestine but it works for now.

  3. I’ve been with Andi for a few months now. The time had come for Black and I to part ways and I must say, the split was liberating. I never knew how much Black was holding me back. Andi and I fell hard and quick. He put a ring on it. I said yes.

  4. I wish I could quit Black Torch – but this damn prenup won’t let me be free – the flames are no longer there as WIM put it he’s “smoldering ash”. I can’t wait until May LOL.

  5. I should not have read this in a public setting. I busted out laughing! I’m sorry I shouldn’t laugh at your heartbreak.

    I love Andi, but sometimes I have to catch my self looking at BB.

  6. yeah, I agree. Go to the other side. Siri is the bomb. She’s slim and beautiful and loves when you touch her. I love Siri, but I am willing to share.

  7. it’s tough to break up but i feel my time with my Blacklove is coming to an end too. i usually dont go this way but Siri is looking tempting to me. May take a walk on the other side in May…

  8. I must be slow because I have no idea what yall are talking about except for BB. Now I’m going to look up Siri and Andi. I think I have an idea, but I’m not sure if I’m right or not.

  9. I read this right on time. Curve and I are ending our relationship too. I’m tempted to date his older brother… the call him Tour. Word on the street is he’s sensitive to the touch but gets the job done right. I don’t know though, I feel funny about starting a relationship within the same family. I mean there are the obvious reasons of course, but additionally… what if Curve’s problem are a matter not of nurture but of nature. Wouldn’t that mean that Tour would be the same way? I don’t know if I can handle this heartbreak twice in a row. The sad thing is before I had to replace my first love, the Berry family was handling me just right… *le sigh*

  10. LOLLLLLLL
    this was the best post ever!!!!!

    funny thing is this, most owners of le pomme (en francais) and andi will give you all the good, but no phone is perfect. i want to know the bad.

    i am bold (and beautiful) and have been for years. is it perfect? nope. does it satisfy my every need all day everyday? nope. do i wish for apps like instamatic? yep. but the phone has to fit YOU. (wow it really IS like being in a relationship!! lol)

    i dont drive and live in a cold place (like -40C days cold, you from Mich..you know..) and i refuse to get a phone that wont let me type/live with gloves on. so until those touchscreen peeps let me be great with REGULAR gloves (dont tell me i can buy special gloves to use my phone.. that is beyond absurd!) or come out with a keyboard that isn’t a slider phone – i’ll stick with my lil cdn company that could. (seems to be working out for your prez. lol).

    good luck and may you find your match!!

  11. late pass! I am on a mission to chuck this bb soon! I hate him! LOL He never works when I need him to, I can’t add any cool stuff on him, just boo! I am envious of everyone with an andi! I am looking to make the move soon!!!!!!

Say it loud, say it proud... just not in all caps.

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